Hundreds & Thousands of Books

Everything Wrong With ‘The Clockwork Angel’

It was like Terminator… if Terminator was a book set in Victorian London and they stopped during each fight to discuss what they had learned.

Name: Clockwork Angel

Author: Cassandra Clare

Published: 2010

Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices, #1) by Cassandra Clare

Something terrifying is waiting for Tessa Gray in London’s Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Tessa seeks refuge with the Shadowhunters, a band of warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons. Tessa finds herself fascinated by – and torn between – two best friends…

Um – no she wasn’t??

Hi everyone – I’m back! I haven’t posted in a little bit because I’ve been stuck in Victorian London. It’s taken me so long to read Clockwork Angel, what with being back to school for the unforeseeable future and having no time to read and the when I do I’ve forgotten who all the characters are. Although that was especially difficult for Clockwork Angel because SO MANY OF THE CHARACTERS ARE THE SAME.

The First Thing Wrong: That Quirky Female Character™

*Tucks hair behind ear* Clare loves to wrote that girl who isn’t like other girls. I may be getting too cynical, but Tessa felt uncomfortably similar to Clary in the Independent Female™ cateogry. Although Tessa didn’t make me want to rip off my head quite as much as Clary did. For more info, find my review of City of Bones here – suitably titled Clary Fray Is Not My Bae (I was so proud of that). I may be reading too much Holy Bourne but the whole girl whose not like other girls is a damaging, and more importantly, annoying stereotype. Because they are like other girls – every other YA female protagonist in a ten mile radius.

A gnome (yes gnome) attacks Tessa, and she feels pangs of pity for him afterwards. Not her greatest moment. Also, the FIRST THING Tessa notices about Will (one of the best friends she is apparently fascinated by) is how he had the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen. The girl was quite literally being murdered at the time. Stop. This isn’t Wattpad (although I suppose then it would be more about his beautiful, piercing orbs haha).

Problem Number Two: That Mysterious Love Interest

I would say that Will was a btech version of Jace from Clockwork Angels but he was just the SAME. His entire personality was a husky, arrogant voice and leaning against all the doorways he can find. How does he not have back problems? But, we have to complete the full cliche, so of course Will has a mysterious past that leads Tessa to wonder how he copes with all of that pent up darkness… however, I’m slightly intrigued what it was all about. Torturously, the book ended on Will about to spill his torment to warlock Magnus Bane . The best character in the series 🙂

I hate to admit it Will did have some funny come backs and I liked his relationship with Jem.

Penultimate Wrongdoing: I Just Couldn’t Get Into It

Ever been mildly interested in a book but just aren’t feeling it? And when you try you can’t remember who De Quincey and his vampire horde are, all you’re getting is twilight references? Yeah.

There were fun references to the Mortal Instruments and I always like books that address the title from the start… although I’m uncertain what the angel actually was? I thought nothing could top J.K Rowlings’ ‘put-outer’ as an object name, but Shadowhunter’s weapon for sensing demon energies are called… sensors? And their epic armour is called gear. Ooo I’m scared.

‘Tessa Gave a Cry Of Surprise‘
Are you surprised?

gifs mine disney k Mary Poppins Julie Andrews Disneyedit filmedit arthurdarvvill •

All the speech was long and pretty (sorry to break it to you but teens don’t actually talk in metaphors). Often fantasy characters don’t speak realistically but this wasn’t poetic. It felt often awkward and clunky.

The Victorian setting gave interesting background and customs but there was a LOT of unnecessary description. ~~I wouldn’t put it past Casssandra Clare to write Victorian as an excuse to be sexist.~~

However…

I can totally see why some people love the world. I liked the creepy clockwork army – that’s where my terminator references are coming from haha – and this expansion of the Shadowhunter’s world. For me, it felt like a similar recipe to the Mortal Instruments (don’t know if you noticed) but the new characters were.. interesting additions to say the least. Jem, who definitely gave me ace vibes, although I’m sure this isn’t canon, Henry and Charlotte were great. I could live with Jessamine and Agatha and Sophie (coincidence I think not). But that was about it. This was the sort of book I probably need to reread to get the full experience.

But you can keep it away from me for the next year.

#TTT: Ranking Fictional Simons (and real ones. I ran out)

Hey everyone! This week’s prompt was about longest book titles, but I wasn’t having much inspiration. I’d been naively thinking for a while that there’s a lot of Simons in literature (I really should have counted past four…) and thought I could do it for TTT. It’s a tenuous link, I know, but who doesn’t want to see Simon Cowell pitted again Simon Spier?

The tag was originally created by The Broke and the Bookish but is now hosted over at That Artsy Reader Girl. If you’ve given it a go, feel free to link your post in the comments and I’ll try and check them out. Do you have any more to add to this list?

10. Simon Drew from the ‘Dark Is Rising’ by Susan Cooper

A couple of years ago, I read this series and Simon seemed the stereotype of every older brother rolled into one.

9. Simon from ‘Lord Of The Flies’ by William Golding

Who actually liked the character who ’embodied goodness?’

Don’t know if you can tell I did this for GCSE.

Simon Gruber | Cinema Villains Wikia Wiki | Fandom

8. Simon Peter-Gruber from ‘Die Hard’

Oh look it’s a filler! But this man had no chill.

City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments Book 1) eBook: Clare, Cassandra: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

7. Simon Lewis from The Shadowhunters Universe by Cassandra Clare

I just… Simon was nice enough but he needed to get his head in the game (*cue Troy Bolton*). It irritated me how he was infatuated with Clary and then expected her to like him back – although he could have done a lot better. Find my review of the City Of Bones here, aptly titled: Clary Fray Is Not My Bae (I was so proud of that).

Simon Cowell cheered up by son Eric during rare appearance following bike accident | HELLO!

6. Simon Cowell from… everything?!

I have to reach ten somehow! But this man should be a national hero for the amount of iconic videos he has created/judged.

The Spiderwick Chronicles #5: The Wrath of Mulgarath : Black : 9780689859403

5. Simon Gray from The Spiderwick Chronicles by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black

Honestly, I only recently realised that this series was written by Holly Black as well – which makes me love it even more. Are you going to read her-new-book-that-I’m-not-going-to-name-because-it-could-qualify-for-the-original-TTT-prompt?

I loved the Spiderwick books, and the films were great too. Although the cover of this book would give me nightmares. I need to review it, but click here for my review of The Cruel Prince.

Simon Seville (Live-Action) | Heroes and villians Wiki | Fandom

4. Simon Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks

Yes a literal Chipmunk is going after Simon Lewis. He is my spirit animal (can you tell?).

On my radar: Simon Bird on his cultural highlights | Culture | The Guardian

3. Simon Bird from the Inbetweeners woo

And third place goes to… another national hero. How could he not be on here? I can’t believe he’s on Saturday Night Dinner too

Carry On: Amazon.co.uk: Rowell, Rainbow: Books

2. Simon Snow from ‘Carry On’ by Rainbow Rowell

These were the characters I was thinking of when I came up with this idea. Probably one of my favourite characters ever, I love the resilience and warmth Simon brings to the book. I can relate to him on so many levels (not limited to but especially his obsession with scones).

Find my review of Carry On here and my analysis of the HORRIFIC cover for the final book in the series here.

drum roll please

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda: Amazon.co.uk: Albertalli, Becky: Books

1. Simon Spier from ‘Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda’ by Becky Albertalli

If you haven’t given up by now, congratulations! You win a Simon! Which one are you taking? 🙂

Because this one’s mine. I could go on for so long, but this turned out so much longer than I expected, so all I’ll say is that Simon is so sweet but switched on and says some of the most perceptive points about Homosapiens I’ve ever read.

Basically, Simon Spier is a cinnamon roll. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

When You Wait Two Years For A Cover Reveal And It’s Ugly

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell. It’s finally happening.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ll know that Carry On by Rainbow Rowell is one of my favourite books. If you haven’t heard of it, ~~shame on you~~ you can find what it’s about and why I love it here. It’s the first in a trilogy and the cover of the final book was released last week. I’m very excited – although I have some…issues with the cover.

On October 1st, Rainbow Rowell announced on social media the release date of Any Way The Wind Blows. It was so much earlier than I’d expected which was a nice surprise! Attached was this – very nice – image, which has been circulating for about a year ever since Rowell released the book’s name.

I was a bit unsure about a grey background, but you know what? It’s a strong image – it’s nice! And anyway, it’s Carry On. How could you mess it up?

Well.

To mark 5 years since the release of Carry On (it feels so much longer than that), last week Rainbow released the cover of Any Way The Wind Blows – and the synopsis!! Which may or may not be committed to memory. But it claims that this will be their ‘longest adventure yet’, which got me excited until I saw it was only 370 pages on Goodreads. And I don’t know if Clarissa Clare has just conditioned me into expecting large books (sorry HUGE), but that’s not that many pages.

*Sighs*. And then there’s the cover. I’m just not that big a fan. I’ve talked to my friends about it and I agreed that I prefer covers without drawings of characters in them, because I can guarantee that they won’t be how they are in my head. Don’t even get me started on ‘real people’ covers.

But, in the past, the UK version has been different to the US version, so I still have my hopes up. I by far preferred the original Carry On cover that was just silhouettes and I wish the books would return to that style. What do you think?

But, whatever happens, I’m still so thrilled that this book is finally here… or will be in 8 months. My favourite thing about the series is how well written the character developments are, so I’m interested how Rowell will bring everything together, safe in the knowledge that she won’t kill Baz. She wrote about it in Fangirl and this is me prophesying that it’s not going to happen. No.

But I guess we’ll find out. In 8 months.

Cutest Halloween Read: Pumpkinheads

I just want to live this book.

Name: Pumpkinheads

Author: Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks

Published: 2019

Deja and Josiah are seasonal best friends.

Pumpkinheads: Amazon.co.uk: Rowell, Rainbow: Books

Every autumn, all through high school, they’ve worked together at the best pumpkin patch in the whole wide world (not many people know that the best pumpkin patch in the whole wide world is in Omaha, Nebraska, but it definitely is). They say goodbye every Halloween, and they’re reunited every September. But this Halloween is different – Josiah and Deja are finally seniors, and this is their last season at the pumpkin patch. Their last shift together. Their last goodbye.

Josiah’s ready to spend the whole night feeling melancholy about it. Deja isn’t ready to let him. She’s got a plan: what if instead of moping, they went out with a bang? They could see all the sights! Taste all the snacks! And Josiah could finally talk to that cute girl he’s been mooning over for three years . . .

What if their last shift was an adventure?

When I told my dad this was the first proper graphic novel I’d read – I don’t think Tintin counts – he made some hilarious joke about it being a book with loads of kissing. Whilst Pumpkinheads (really) wasn’t the sort of book he had in mind, there was some kissing. And pumpkins. And heads. And so much autumn 🥺

I just wanted to live it myself. The book (Graphic novel? Comic?) follows two friends working their last night at a pumpkin patch, featuring a runaway goat, Josiah’s stalked-from-afar crush of three years™ and so many American snacks I hadn’t heard of lol. Um, what’s succotash?

But do you know what it didn’t feature? THERE WERE NO CAMEOS! None at all. Nada. It was such a wasted opportunity – how hard is it to put Eleanor and Park walking through the patch? I can see why Rainbow Rowell might want to keep the two worlds separate, but Simon has wings and it’s halloween! I feel very strongly about this (don’t know if you can tell). I saw an interview where Rowell said that her and Faith are in it somewhere… but I’m still looking.

But apart from that, Pumpkinheads was so fun and happy. Really cuteeee; got me in a great mood for autumn (not fall. sorry.). I can’t really put a quote in but Deja had some great lines about how fate doesn’t push you to people, you have to do it yourself. Which I really liked.

Predictable? It kind of was … but in the best possible way. I read it in literally one sitting (and all of the drawings were gorgeous). A couple of weeks ago, I predicted the lots of a few of my TBR (find it here). have to say I didn’t do too bad…

Here’s another cover I should have looked at more closely. After falling in love with Carry On and Eleanor and Park, I was looking for some more of Rainbow Rowell’s stuff. I then came across Pumpkin Heads and bought it… not realising it was a graphic novel. But, I’m really excited to give it a try – I’ve never read a graphic novel before. By the cover (and the blurb oops), I’m guessing that the two friends reminisce over their years working together, then realise they’re in lurvee just before they have to leave? I’ve got high expectations, but I’m really liking the autumn vibes and hoping it will get me in the spirit for Halloween.

Like I said, Deja was the best. She was so cheerful, and the illustrations properly brought her, and Josiah, to life. There was one weird bit where she threatens to beat up this kid… but we’re not going to dwell on that. I’m left feeling a bit like I wanted more romance… but I’m not sure where? I’ve just been feeling this a lot from romance books lately. I don’t know. But, Pumpkinheads just made me smile – I’d recommend it if you’re feeling down, or want to get in the mood for halloween.

Someday, I can see it becoming a favourite (who am I kidding, it’s Rainbow Rowell. Of course it’s going to become a favourite). Not yet, but someday.

Summer Reading Challenge Results! (original)

So, what seems like a crazily long time ago, I started looking for a summer reading challenge. I’d seen some that looked really fun, but all the ones I found had already started or had too many categories (I’m painfully aware I basically started it in August). So I thought: why not do one myself?

Some brilliant accounts also did the challenge, and I’ll link how they did at the bottom. Make sure to check them out 🙂

Surprisingly, I managed to do eight out of nine categories. My plan had been to borrow ‘Dune’ by Frank Herbert from my Dad (there’s a reason it was in the classics category), and then the library, but there’s been a delay because, you know, pandemic. It’s officially October now, and I can’t really pretend it’s still summer as I sit typing in two hoodies. Sadly. So, here’s how I got on!

My Reviews

Some of these I loved (I think Harrow the Ninth is one of my all time favourites). Others… not so much.

The End of An Era: Death Sets Sail by Robin Stevens

The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris

Clap When You (Don’t) Land by Elizabeth Acedevo

Leah On the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Clary Fray is Not My Bae: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

Badass Bone Nuns: Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Everyone Should Read I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver

Other Accounts

Anna’s Book Nook

One Book More

Notes From A Paper Plane Nomad

Top Ten Tuesday: Guess The Books From The Quotes

Hey everyone! This week’s prompt was all about top quotes for book lovers. The tag was originally created by The Broke and the Bookish but is now hosted over at That Artsy Reader Girl. I found my favourite quotes of all time and wondered if you knew them too, but there’s some clues to help you along. If you haven’t read number ten, go out and buy it right now. Let me know how you get on!

I’ll post the answers tomorrow, make sure to follow so you don’t miss them 🙂

“White shouldn’t be the default any more than straight should be the default. There shouldn’t even be a default.”
mike drop.

“But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary.”
I could pick a million quotes from this book

“But no matter what choices we make – solo or together – our finish line remains the same, no matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end.”
I’m not crying, you’re crying

“I would have come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.”
Had to put this in. My OTP. They’d better be in ‘Rule Of Wolves’.

“People are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows. And maybe it’s a good thing we never stop surprising each other.“
(I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. Click here for my review!)

“…and he went to his room and played his ukulele until Betty burst into tears and begged him to stop.”
It’s a mood. Click here for my review

“Fear is a phoenix. You can watch it burn a thousand times and still it will return.”
Oh look yet another Grisha quote! Click here for my review

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”
It’s up there with An Angel Who Did Not So Much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards. Click here for my review

“I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me. I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me.
I just want you to live.”
Click here for my review

“The front seat is for people who haven’t been kidnapped by bloody numpties”
I want this spray painted on my car.

You Must Read ‘I Wish You All the Best’

Name: I Wish You All the Best

Author: Mason Deaver

Published: 2019

When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they’re thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents’ rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.

But Ben’s attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan’s friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.

Everyone should read this book. I mean this so badly. It covers topics like gender dysphoria, sexuality and gender identity amongst others in such a brilliant way, especially for a YA novel. It’s one of those books that actually impacts your life – and that’s pretty cool. Whatever your sexuality or gender, the subjects handled in I Wish You All the Best applies to everyone, and reading a book like this helps you to understand that they really do apply to everyone.

So. I’d heard mentions of it here and there, and was interested to read from a viewpoint I’d never really seen before in YA books. After trawling through numerous bookshops, it was finally pointed out to me that I Wish You All the Best is only stocked in American bookshops 🙄. But, thanks to some googling and quick delivery (you gotta love the book depository), I eventually got my hands on a copy. And it did not disappoint.

This is the story of Ben, a non-binary teen who is thrown out of their house after they come out to their parents. Ben moves in with their estranged sister, switching to a new school where they (meet Nathannnnn) come to terms with who they are to themselves and the people around them. Heartfelt and moving, it was powerful in the little ways – Becky Albertalli~~‘s review on the front~~ is perfect. I loved Mason Deaver’s writing style, they wrote about difficult subjects in, not quite a relatable but certainly an empathetic way – I’d love to read their next book. I could read entire chapters of Deaver’s descriptions of them holding hands 🥺 .

Don’t ignore the problems,” he says. “Learn from them. But also, don’t knock what you get right. Every success deserves a celebration.”
– I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST

Not quite a flaw, but the book focused more around Ben’s platonic relationships rather than romantic. And whilst it was great to watch these develop, I just wanted MORE from Ben and Nathan. It was an incredibly long build up (Ben was the most opaque person ever) that went straight to an epilogue. I’d have preferred more time in-between.

However, everything else is very very good. I loved Nathan, he was a humanised love interest, which we always love. Ben was extremely well written as well. And, for the sequel (which I will make happen) I really do wish them all the best.

Predicting Plots On My (Uncontrollable) TBR Pile

Do you ever buy books? Because I have. A lot. And now I’m thinking I have once or twice too many… You guys seemed to like it when I did this last time, so here is my complete TBR pile (for the moment) and my expectations/predictions of each one! Hit the follow button to keep updated on whether my predictions are (remotely) correct. Have you read any of them?

Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer

I don’t know if this is going to be an All the Bright Places masterpiece… or another girl falls into boys and then falls in love, both with some sort of tragic backstory

Dune by Frank Herbert (borrowing)

I’ve already done a longer prediction for this book here. I’m thinking space worms?

The Fever Code by James Dashner

4 years ago, I read the Maze Runner, fell in love and totally forgot about it. I’m excited to finally read this new addition, although it’s going to take a while to reread the entire series ugh.

The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

Short stories aren’t normally my go-to, but if Leigh Bardugo wrote a telephone directory, I’d read it. I’ve flipped through The Language of Thorns a few times, and the illustrations are beautiful. Plus, the dedication is a Labyrinth quote, so it’s my new favourite.

The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare (borrowing)

It’s been no secret I hated the first three Mortal Instrument. But apparently I need to read them all in publication order (my friend is adamant about this) and I want to do it properly to appease booktube. However, I have higher hopes for these three, the Victorian London setting sounds cool. But mainly because Clary isn’t in it.

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

I do it by the book. I’ve been told Clare’s writing improves as the series progresses, and all I’m going to say is that IT HAD BETTER!

The Taming of the Tights by Louise Rennison

Yes you read that title correctly.

The Versions of Us by Laura Barnett

Have a look at this book. It looks amazing – a really interesting premise (plus you can’t argue with an Amazing bestseller). I have high hopes!

The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper

When you search this series, it comes up with a very cool horror movie. Which, on further examination, is nothing to do with the book series. I think this series will be a nice break, even if it’s for younger audiences. The title at least is intriguing.

I wonder if I got any right?

Reviewing ‘Clap When You (don’t) Land’

I wanted to love this.

Name: Clap When You Land

Author: Elizabeth Acevedo

Published: 2020

Clap When You Land: Amazon.co.uk: Acevedo, Elizabeth: Books

Camino Rios lives for the summers when her father visits her in the Dominican Republic. But this time, on the day when his plane is supposed to land, Camino arrives at the airport to see crowds of crying people…

In New York City, Yahaira Rios is called to the principal’s office, where her mother is waiting to tell her that her father, her hero, has died in a plane crash.

Separated by distance—and Papi’s secrets—the two girls are forced to face a new reality in which their father is dead and their lives are forever altered. And then, when it seems like they’ve lost everything of their father, they learn of each other.

I’ve been looking at the books on my shelf, thinking just how many of them were set in either the UK or America (or Ravka… but that doesn’t count). So, I’ve been looking for books centred around different cultures and communities – if you have any suggestions please let me know in the comments! I’d heard so much about Acevedo’s ‘Poet X’ and then was intrigued when I saw she’d written one based on a plane crash in the Dominican Republic. Although, it’s put me off flights for a while.

(Thanks to COVID that isn’t even an option, so I guess that problems out of the way…)

As if your father dying in a plane crash isn’t enough trauma, here’s some sexual harassment and your long lost sibling! Especially in the beginning, I struggled to distinguish between Camino and Yahaira’s two voices – I’ve read other reviews who complained about the same problem. Generally, I preferred Camino’s narrative, although there wasn’t much difference personality wise. Clap When You Land was written in verse; personalities can be hard to portray especially as it’s in first person as well. I liked Acevedo’s prose style and it was very moving in moments, but every page followed a similar structure.

I don’t speak Spanish. Theoretically, I can speak French, but I’m not sure how far I’d get if I was actually shipped off to a school in Paris, as my french teacher would aways threaten. (like SOAP 😉. If you get the reference you’re my friend.). What I’m trying to say is that there was a lot of Spanish speech that I didn’t understand. A few more translations might have left me less confused, but I liked the feel they gave the writing.

They don’t do that much anymore. This must be a plane of Dominicans returning home; when you touch down on this soil, you must clap when you land.
– My favourite quote from ‘Clap When You Land’ (coincidence? I think not.)

I saw this alternate cover when I was looking for images and at first I didn’t like it, but it’s growing on me. Which one do you prefer?

Finally, the thought and detail put into the side characters was great; I loved Camino’s aunt and Yahaira’s girlfriend. Clap When You Land covered some very topical and important issues in a strong and often moving way. It was a beautiful idea; a story full of hope in the face of darkness and loss.